Resources for Married Couples
by Elsie Radtke
What if something seems wrong?
Marriage preparation teaches some basics about issues a couple will grapple with in married life. Coming together as a couple is harder at some times than at others. In times of conflict or different opinions, it is hard to remember all the techniques and helpful hints learned at PreCana. Despite best efforts, some of the strains and realities of married life may create anxiety, tension or conflict in the marriage.
Using skills of listening, better communication, daily affirmations and weekly date night, may not be enough for some couples. Looming in unspoken silences or in outbursts of temper may be problems one or both members of the marital relationship cannot resolve or manage.
Many people get expert advice and counseling to manage their finances. Many people attend graduate school to update their professional skills. Many people hire a personal trainer or life coach to help them become the best they can be in the gym and in life. When it comes to marital problems, people often are embarrassed and do not get the help that is available.
Research shows that some couples struggle with problems in marriage for up to six years before they go for help to a professional. Waiting that long makes it hard to receive the help that is offered. Patterns of behavior and hurtful interactions make it hard to continue to work at the marriage.
Therapy
This is often the first avenue a couple or an individual takes when there are problems. Some parish priests are excellent at helping you get your marriage "back on track." It is recommended that you seek help from a professional who is supportive of marriage. Some are only concerned about the individuals. Ask relevant questions of the therapist you choose.
Marriage Encounter
A weekend retreat for married couples. Come closer together by talking, sharing and reaffirming your marital commitment.
Retrouvaille
A French word that means ‘rediscovery,’ this weekend program is for couples in troubled marriages and has a 72% success rate with keeping couples together. There are a series of evening follow-up sessions after the weekend retreat.
Third Option
Ongoing marriage enrichment program. Stay together and be miserable, separate and be miserable or embrace the third option, a 14 session educational program designed to strengthen you as a couple and help you deal, as a couple, with problem areas in your marriage.
Smart Marriages
A national movement to provide education and resources to help couples have the marriage they dreamed they could have. Check out their website: www.smartmarriages.com.
Read All About It
Educate yourself with the best motivational tapes and books available. Digest information that will teach you skills and techniques to put the spark back into the most important relationship in your life. Read books by Gottman, Stanley, Covey, Hendricks, Love, Weiner-Davis, and others who are part of the Marriage Movement to help couples have the marriage they aspired to the day they married.
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