No time. No sex. No money.

If the title of this article describes your Marriage you are not alone. Recent studies, specifically, research presented by Michael Lawler of Creighton University, tell us that many if not most young marrieds struggle with these realities.

Talk about the bubble bursting. Before Marriage you were spending money in all quarters as you celebrated the Wedding of the Century. You were counting the days until you would finally be snug as a bug in bed together. You were absolutely certain that once you were both under the same roof there would be quality time together. In fact you wondered what you would do with all the "extra" time that you were going to have once you were in the same city and home.

Each decade we are living our lives, "hurrier and hurrier". The consequences of this harried pace often does not strike us until we realize that we are missing that which is most important to us: time with our spouse and with our children. As singles it is almost a sport to whip out our Day Planners. We compete to see who is more over-booked. While this is harmless banter for singles, it is a serious threat to the stability and depth of a Marriage.

Love is not an express lane concept. Love cannot be rushed, it requires nurturing and nourishing which takes Time. Making Love takes Time. Handling money responsibly takes Time. The old adage, Time is Money may seem terribly antiquated to the Palm Pilot generation, but the reality is that because there is so little time available, young marrieds make expensive choices thinking they are "buying time." We eat on the run, carry out, and pay for others to do chores that we could do ourselves. Does being married mean we can’t have any fun? No, it means that there needs to be a budget to track your spending so that you know where your money has gone. And oh, those lattes. Do you really want to spend $700 per year just on a daily latte? And what if you are a two-latte family? That is $1400. Just choosing to go "latte-less" one day a week could save you $168 a year.

Lack of time and money dissipates the romance, doesn’t it? No romance, no lovemaking! Today’s young professional’s large earning power comes with a price; less time for spouse and family. Lovemaking is not an experience that can be checked off the list like stopping at the ATM. Women, especially, need "be-fore" play. They need to have some space from working, picking up the children, getting supper, etc… "be-fore " they have even the slightest inclination to want to make love. Take a hint, guys. The best aphrodisiac for women is a little help in the kitchen and family room.

As you continue on your early marriage journey, guard your time, your lovemaking and your money as your most valuable assets.

Questions for Reflection: