Service and Marriage
by Jim and Kathy McGinnis
Matt and Amy, married for a year and a half, are Jesuit volunteers. Matt works part-time with a local peace and justice office and part-time doing construction work for Habitat for Humanity. Amy works at a local women's shelter. They have begun to attend meetings of a coalition working on transitional housing for women who have been domestic violence victims.
Bob and Sarah are three-month newlyweds. Finances are not a worry for them. Before they got married, they decided on a rather unique endeavor. Sarah rode horses as a teen-ager and college student. She found a program that uses horses as a therapeutic tool for children with disabilities, and she and Bob spend one afternoon a week working with these children. They are concerned because state funding for programs like theirs is being cut.
Tonya and Lee have been married almost three years. They have a six-month-old baby. Before the baby came they had decided to work in a local shelter, cooking dinner twice a month. After the baby's birth, they weren't sure whether they could continue to do that, but they have discovered that the residents of the shelter look forward to their coming, and love to play with the baby. The residents have been telling them that it is almost impossible for them to find affordable housing once they leave the shelter.
These couples' stories are different from each other, but they all have several things in common. All of them found two surprising benefits of their work--they learned new things about each other, and they found themselves part of a broader community. Matt and Amy's community is an intentional one; but Bob and Sarah and Tonya and Lee all thought they were doing their service work alone. They discovered others who shared their concerns and their own worlds were broadened to include children with disabilities and people who are homeless.
Questions for reflections:
Maybe your story and your circumstances don't fit any of these couples' situations, but their stories raise some interesting questions:
Are there ways that you can build a service component into your lives?
Are there some justice or public policy issues that are linked to the kinds of service you might consider-e.g., affordable housing, access to quality health care or state budget priorities?
Do you know ways to get involved in making changes in public policies? E.g.-- Letter writing? Consulting internet advocacy groups like Network, a Catholic Social Justice Lobby group (www.networklobby.org).
Most importantly, is this something you have discussed as part of your life together?
Jim and Kathy McGinnis are founders and co-directors of the Institute for Peace and Justice and of the Parenting for Peace and Justice Network. They are active workshop leaders and authors of more than a dozen books and audio-visual programs. Kathy and Jim are the parents of three young adults (Tom, David and Theresa) and the grandparents of two (Bria and Aidan.)
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