Holy Spirit Interactive: Vocations - FAQs: I keep going back and forth between married life and consecrated life. Which is it?

I recently attended a retreat for vocations and after that retreat I came to the conclusion that religious life was not for me. I was at peace with the idea that I was being called to married life. I went to a prayer session and during that prayer the idea came back, I even went to sleep and dreamt about being a Franciscan.

I honestly thought that I was at peace with the idea I am not sure why I am thinking about it again. I am currently seeing somebody, he is very spiritual. I can honestly say that he has brought me closer to God. I don't understand if God wants me to become his bride why would he send this guy into my life. I use to be more materialistic, and since he's been into my life I don't even care about these things anymore.

My boyfriend has really shown me that nothing in this life matters but my soul, he believes that once I take care of my soul everything else would fall into place. I thought that God sent him into my life so we can have a family later on... but then again at times I feel like the Lord is calling me to be his bride. Many people have approached me and ask me if I am thinking about being a nun, a priest even asked me that. Please help.

If you have a vocation it does not mean there is no man out there that you could love and who would be very good for you, even spiritually speaking. I guess if we were the ones who were giving out vocations we would tend to say, 'this is what I want you to do and it is your only shot at holiness, so you'd better take it.' God is not like that.

Our vocation is what he wants us to do, where we fit in, in his 'best-case scenario'. He makes the invitation, he send us the messengers, he makes sure we have the opportunity to hear the call - but he never forces us. It even seems that most times there is ample room for doubt as regards our vocation, precisely because he never forces it on us. He attracts us. He gives us the chance to show our love in trust and generosity. And there is no big stick.

Let me rephrase your question. You thought you had solved the vocation question, but it has come back. The striking aspect to what you say is that these thoughts are definitely not something you have sought, and they have increased as you have become more spiritually minded. What confuses you is this, that the person who seems to be the 'culprit' for your spiritual growth and renewal (and hence in great part for your thinking about the vocation) is precisely someone who seems sent by God as a top-drawer find for a good marriage.

Maybe this will help. Keep your feet on the ground, from the point of view of faith. Look at reality. Your boyfriend has encouraged you to grow spiritually and straighten out your priorities. He has been God's instrument in that. Now it seems God is building on this gift he gave you in him. Your thoughts, and the impression others seem to have is also reality.

I think you owe it to yourself, God, and to your boyfriend to look into the vocation. Don't try to figure out why God did things this way, just live reality. Give God his place. Give the souls that may need you their place. Give him a chance to make his will more clear to you by actively testing your vocation.

And what about your boyfriend? Who knows what plans God may have for him, and what part your example is going to have in him discovering what God wants of him. But of this much be sure: if you have a vocation, he is not the last 'perfect' man you are going to meet in your life. And each time you do, you are going to choose God above any creature of his.


	Friday, November 21, 2008