I can't stop thinking about the priesthood. Does that mean I'm called?

Jeremy asks:

Dear Jeremy,

It does seem you have 'the vocation bug'. The fact that your thoughts about the vocation keep coming back could very well mean something.

I think a good deal of the confusion you feel may be due to an incomplete understanding of what a vocation is, so here are some pointers.

One, a vocation is a call from God: we can't make it, no-one else can give us one, it can only come from him. The main question to be asked and answered when thoughts of the priesthood come into our mind is this: does God want me to be a priest? Is he calling me?

Two, if God calls us, then we have answer something - basically either yes or no.

This is where my 'wanting' the vocation comes in. My 'wanting' it or 'being interested in it' does not make the vocation, but my wanting has to come into the picture, and this is where it comes in: Which do I want to say to God, yes or no, if he is calling me?.

But that seems to beg the question, how can you say yes or no if you are not sure he is in fact calling you? So,

Three, there are some signs that are necessary for a vocation, it will help to look and see if you they are present in your life. To go beyond the signs and actually discover if you have a vocation you need something else besides signs: you have to be 'on good terms with God', you have to 'speak his language'.

Let us check the signs: you must have health enough for the vocation. This includes physical health (the minimum will vary according to different vocations), psychological health (free from major scars, neuroses, dependencies, for example - you are going to guide others so your own house has to be in order), and spiritual health (belief in the Church, practice of the sacraments, giving prayer a place in your life, etc...). You must also have the human maturity that corresponds to your age, and be able to take on commitments and function stably in your present responsibilities; there must be a core to you that is not overly influenced by others so that you live by principle rather than by others' opinions. And your motives for considering the vocation must be come from your faith, and not from human convenience or gain.

Second: What is God's language? Love. You can only get in a position to figure out if God is calling you if you love him, if you are struggling (though you might fall at times) to grow in your life of grace, doing good, avoiding sin, serving others, giving God time in prayer. And I think you can only open your soul to the vocation if you love people, and love them enough to give your life to serve them.

Four, 'abstract' vocations don't exist. God calls to something specific, either diocesan priesthood, or some specific religious order. When you meet the place God wants you to be, you usually have two contrary reactions: one a sort of 'click', recognition, 'yes, I fit; if I were to be a priest, this is the type of priest I would want to be'. And simultaneously I think there has got to be some fear, a recognition that this is not going to be easy, I'm going to have to give a lot, grow a lot, put myself in second place...

So, what do I suggest you do now? See if you have the initial signs. Then pray, saying to God: "maybe it's you who is putting these thought in my mind, inviting me. Help me to be generous enough if it is you, because you know there are lots of other things I would like to do as well." Then look. Visit seminaries. Don't go on a wild spree, just start by visiting the ones you know, do a retreat with them, and see if that 'click' happens. At this point you will definitely need some outside help: you need to open yourself to the men who run that seminary or order where you have clicked so that they can evaluate and give you their read on your situation vis-à-vis joining their group.

You may think I have avoided the part of your question that asks how you know it is time to become a priest. I haven't, you simply cannot know before you do all the above. If you have the general signs, find the right place, are accepted (or at least encouraged), and there are no substantial reasons to wait, it means 'now's the time'