If I want to have a family, what should I do about the call I feel to religious life?
Marianne asks:
My parents are tired of hearing me say "I think God wants me to be a Religious" because I always get down and depressed when thinking these thoughts. My mom keeps saying that if God wants me to do something he will place the desire within me. I do love the Catholic Church and I want to be a servant of God. I felt a little guilty because if God does will the Religious life for me, I would not want it. So my dad thinks I try to make myself consider the Religious life out of guilt, which I realize could be true. I want to know God, do His will, be a servant, love with His love, be transformed through Him, and be married with a family. Is that possible? I want to be holy and bring my family to know and love Him. I do realize I will need a lot of transformation before being "co-head" of a family. Sometimes I get scared thinking about what would happen to me if God wanted me to be a nun and I got married. I frequently cause myself anxiety and want to put an end to it. Yes, I am a paranoid person and sometimes fear for what I do not want, but am I being paranoid or trying to dodge a vocation?
Dear Marianne,
"I want to know God, do His will, be a servant, love with His love, be transformed through Him, and be married with a family. Is that possible?" Of course it is! If it weren't, what use would it be to be a Catholic?
You have the essential ingredient of Christian life, which is to want to be with Christ, to want to be holy and bear fruit. Now, the only question is "how" God wants you to be united with him, holy and fruitful -- as a wife and mother, or as a religious? I am sure you will find your answer in your dispositions, which are excellent, but your anxieties are not. Your point of departure has to be that God loves you and wants what is best for you, so your basic attitude has to be trust.
God bless.
Fr. Anthony Bannon
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