The Funny Bone: Week 14
A mother wanted to teach her daughter a moral lesson.
She gave the little girl a quarter and a dollar for church.
"Put whichever one you want in the collection plate and keep the other for yourself," she told the girl.
When they were coming out of the church, the mother asked her daughter which amount she had given.
"Well," said the little girl, "I was going to give the dollar, but just before the collection, the priest said that we should all be cheerful givers . . .
. . . I knew I'd be a lot more cheerful if I gave the quarter, so I did."
The Sunday School teacher was just finishing a lesson on honesty.
"Do you know where little boys go if they don't put their money in the collection plate?", the teacher asked.
"Yes ma'am," a boy blurted out. "They go to the movies."
It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny stayed home from church with a sitter.
When the family returned home, they were carrying several palm branches.
The boy asked what they were for.
"People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by," his older brother explained.
"Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed. "The one Sunday I don't go, He showed up!"
One Sunday a teenager was in church. When the collection plate was passed around, he pulled a dollar bill from his pocket and dropped it in.
Just at that moment the person behind him tapped him on his shoulder and handed him a $20 bill. Secretly admiring the man's generosity, the boy placed the $20 in the plate and passed it on. Then the boy felt another tap from behind and heard a whisper:
"Son that $20 fell out of your pocket.
Mother: How was your first day at school?
Son: It was all right except for some lady called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun!
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