The Funny Bone: Week 15
Late for school
The new family in the neighborhood overslept and their six-year-old daughter missed her school bus.
So her father had to drive her, but he did not know the way. He said that she would have to direct him to the school.
They rode for a few minutes before she told him to turn the first time, several more before she indicated another turn.
This went on for 20 minutes - but when they finally reached the school, it was actually only a short distance from their home.
The father, much annoyed, asked his daughter why she led him around in circles.
The child explained, "That's the way the school bus goes, Daddy. It's the only way I know."
Hide and Seek
Melroy, Natasha and their mum were playing hide-and-seek one evening.
With the lights turned off in the house, the kids scattered to hide, and their mother was "it."
After a few minutes, she was able to locate all of them.
When it was her turn to hide, they searched high and low but couldn't find her.
Finally, Melroy got a bright idea.
He went to the phone and dialed; they found mum immediately because her mobile started ringing.
A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer's garden.
"I'll give you my two pennies for that tomato," said the boy pointing to a nice, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine.
"No," said the farmer, "I get a dime for a tomato like that one."
The small boy pointed to a smaller green one, "Will you take two pennies for that one?"
"Yes," replied the farmer, "I'll give you that one for two cents."
"OK," said the boy, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer's hand, "I'll pick it up in about a week."
A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your nose.
Love all, trust... me.
A penny saved is... not much.
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree.
After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground.
After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground.
The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.
Finally, the female bird turned to her mate.
"Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."
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