The Funny Bone: Week 23
The Bible According to Kids
In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
A 50 year-old lady had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital.
While the doctors were operating on her, God appeared to her in a dream.
She asked God if she was going to die.
God said, "No you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live."
When she heard this, she decided to stay in hospital and asked the doctor to make her look younger. She even changed her hair colour.
She then left the hospital, but while crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by a car.
Arriving in front of God, she asked, "I thought you said I had another 43 years!
How come I died so soon?"
God replied,"I didn't recognize you."
A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later: "Daad..."
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No. You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Daaaaad..."
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later: "Daaaaaaaad...."
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
Questions and Answers 3
What animal couldn't Noah trust?
Who was known as a Mathematician in the Bible?
Moses, he wrote the book of Numbers.
Sunday school teacher: Nora, what does the Bible have to say about the Dead Sea?
Nora: Dead? I didn't even know it was ill!
Where is medicine first mentioned in the Bible?
When God gave Moses two tablets.
What do they call pastors in Germany?
More Jokes Soon
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