The Funny Bone
Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer.
"Fine", said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you."
"Oh, I didn't ask Him to help me not misbehave," said Johnny. "I asked Him to help you put up with me."
Bless this Sermon
An Evangelical Preacher's little boy inquired, "Daddy, I notice every Sunday morning when you first come out to preach, you sit up on the platform and bow your head. What are you doing?"
The father explained, "I'm asking the Lord to give me a good sermon."
The little boy said, "Why don't he?"
It was 5:00 a.m and the father went to his son Shawn's bedroom door, knocked and said, "Son, it's time to get up. We have to leave right away if we're going to catch any fish."
Soon it was 5:30 and dad had the coffee brewing, the boat hooked up and he just finished packing the truck, when he noticed Shawn still wasn't up. Furious the dad pounded on his son's bedroom door a second time and yelled, "Jesus rose from the dead and you can't even get out of bed!"
To which the son replied sleepily, "Yeah, but it took Jesus three days!!"
Which Way to Heaven?
A Batpist Pastor tells of a time early in his ministry when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy had told him, he thanked him and said, "If you'll come to the Baptist Church this evening, you can hear me telling everyone how to get to heaven."
The boy replied, "I don't think I'll be there... You don't even know your way to the post office."
Money for the Priest
After the Church service a little boy told the priest, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money."
"Well, thank you," the priest replied, "but why?"
"Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've ever had."
How Do I Get into Heaven?
A teacher asked the children in her Sunday School class, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would I get into heaven?"
"NO!" the children all answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would I get into heaven?"
Again, the answer was a resounding "NO!"
"Well," she continued, "then how can I get to heaven?"
In the back of the room, a five-year-old boy shouted out, "You gotta be dead!"
More Jokes Soon
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