The Funny Bone
A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she started feeling ill.
"Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?"
"No" her mother replied.
"Well, I think I have to throw up!"
"Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and throw up behind a bush."
In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat.
"Did you throw up?" her mother asked.
"Yes" the little girl replied.
"Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and return so quickly?"
"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied, "They have a box next to the front door that says 'For the sick'."
Jill: Have you read the Bible?
Jack: No, I'm waiting for them to make a movie on it.
Johnny was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.
"Well, mum, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.
"When he got to the Red Sea he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and saved the Israelites."
"Now, Johnny, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.
"Well, no, mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it."
The Sunday school teacher told the class about Lot being told to take his wife and flee out of the city.
"Lot got away, but his wife disobeyed divine orders by looking back and was turned into a pillar of salt," the teacher explained.
One little boy asked, "What happened to the flea?"
Lost and Found
A member of the parish rang the vicarage and a little voice answered very softly, "Hello."
"May I speak to the Vicar, please."
The little voice whispered, "I'm afraid he's not at home just now".
"Well may I speak to your mother then, please."
"I'm afraid she's not at home either," came back the whisper.
"Well is there anyone else there?"
"There's a policeman here."
"Could I speak to him then please?"
"No, I'm sorry he's rather busy."
"Is there anyone else there?" the caller asked, beginning to sound a little exasperated.
"There's a fireman ..."
"You have all these people there and none of them can come to the phone? What are they doing?!"
The voice answered "They're all looking for me!"
More Jokes Soon
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