The Funny Bone
Dad's the Best
Three kids were sitting on the porch discussing their fathers.
One said, "My dad is so talented he writes stuff down on paper calls it a poem and they send him $100 for it!"
Not to be outdone, the second kid said, "Oh yeah? My dad is so talented he draws squiggly lines on a notebook calls it art and they give him $300 for it!"
"That's nothing," said the third kid. "My dad writes some words down, calls it a sermon, and it takes five guys to collect all the money!"
In the Line of Duty
A young lad was visiting a church for the first time, checking all the announcements and posters along the walls. When he came to a group of pictures of men in uniform, he asked a nearby usher, "Who are all those men in the pictures?"
The usher replied, "Why, those are our boys who died in the service".
Dumbfounded, the youngster asked, "Was that the morning service or the evening service?"
Rest in Peace
Here are some of the things that kids said happens after you die:
When you die, they bury you in the ground and your soul goes to heaven, but your body can't got to heaven because it's too crowded up there already. (Jimmy, 10)
When you die, God takes care of you like your mother did when you were alive - only God doesn't yell at you all the time. (Mary, 8)
Only good people go to heaven. The other people go where it's hot all the time ... like in Florida. (Rob, 7)
Where is God?
A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10. They were always getting into trouble, and their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons would get the blame. The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed and asked to see them individually. So, the mother sent her 8-year-old first.
The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Where is God?"
They boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth hanging open.
The clergyman repeated the question. "Where is God?"
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.
So, the clergyman raised his voice some more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God!?"
The boy screamed and bolted from the room. He ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied: "We are in real BIG trouble this time! God is missing, and they think we had something to do with it!"
The Lord's Prayer
A mother was teaching her three year old daughter the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, she repeated it after her mother. One night she said she was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride, as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end...
"And lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some e-mail. Amen."
More Jokes Soon
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