To Pet or not to Pet

I am a 17-year-old girl and have had a boyfriend for six months. We have been engaging in mild petting for a couple of weeks now. A friend told me that this is a sin. Is she right?

Ruby: While companionship between boys and girls can be enriching, it is often difficult to maintain an exclusive relationship without getting confused by the sexual attractions that you naturally feel. First of all let me say that there is nothing wrong with such feelings. They are natural and are meant to be enjoyed in a sanctified relationship that we call "marriage" that was instituted by none other than God Himself.

This relationship between man and woman is a sacred one and every culture down the ages has respected it. In spite of the threat to this institution in modern times, it is the most fundamental unit of society, the break up of which in many cultures is a cause for serious concern for the stability of those nations and subsequently of the world itself.

Petting can, and often does, lead to more serious things. Uncontrolled emotions and passions have been the cause of many an unwed mother or, worse, teenage abortions. The resulting spiritual, emotional and psychological damage can take many years to heal not to speak of the financial cost involved.

Coral: True love creates respect and what better gift can you give your boyfriend than respect?

Ruby: Yes, at your age while your body might be ready for sexual pleasures, there are a lot of emotional and psychological areas you need to grow in before you are ready for the responsibility of a committed relationship.

Coral: You and your boyfriend can talk to each other about this openly and frankly because in a truly committed relationship, communication is paramount. If the ardor can't be restrained, try showing your love for each other in ways like holding hands and non-sexual caresses. Avoiding watching stimulating movies, TV programs, material while together will surely help. Try abstaining from each other for periods of time, praying together, and spending more time in public places where you know that such activities are "off limits". This way, your love and respect for each other will grow and you will begin to see each other as persons and not only as objects of desire.

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