Internet Dating

I'm a 21-year-old girl who 'met' a 24-year-old guy in a chat room. At first we chatted about everything under the sun since we had a lot of interests in common. Then we began to talk about ourselves and slowly we started to feel very attracted to each other. He told me that he's in love with me and I told him I felt the same way. We spend about 3-4 hours chatting every day. We've spoken over the phone also. A few days back he began to suggest that we should meet in person. As much as I would like to meet him I'm scared because I've heard about many Internet hoaxes. But I also don't want to lose him. Do you think it's alright to meet?

Ruby: Due to quickly evolving technology, we are now able to socialize without the nervousness of meeting someone for the first time; this is made possible by Internet dating.

Coral: When it comes to Internet dating, we seem to hear a lot of horror stories. As a result, a lot of people are somewhat scared and intimidated by the idea of trying to meet people "out there." Many seem to believe that anyone they would meet on the Internet would be somehow "dangerous"

Ruby: But, think about it. People are people. Just like any other communication medium the Internet is only that - a medium. For meeting the person all the rules that apply to meeting a stranger for the first time, apply. (However friendly they may appear to be).

Coral: Some of the things you should know about dating on the Internet:

1. Men and women can lie about their weight, age, income or physical appearance.
2. Online one can be anyone they want to be and people develop an easy and rapid intimacy and can lose their sense of judgment
3. Precisely because of the anonymity it affords it attracts all sorts of dangerous elements.
4. Since a large part of the conversation is text based, we are not able to recognize the physical cues that we see in everyday in life, such as body language, dress, personal hygiene, tone of voice and how we are able to judge verbal statements
5. A person may not be truthful in saying their location--they may say they are from across the county but in reality live on the same street as you

Ruby: We suggest you take your time to meet your friend. Don't let him rush you in to anything. And here are some precautions you should take if you do decide that you do want to meet in person:

1. Think Safety First! Meet in a public place, bring a friend, arrange for your own transportation and never meet alone
2. Watch out for specific patterns (like signs of anger, frustration, or manipulation,) in the emails / chat messages. If they are general or evasive in their content there may be a problem
3. Go to a place that you choose and know well. Do not let your new friend change the plans at the last minute. (There are many instances where the drinks have been laced and the victim has been sexually assaulted after that.)
4. If you feel uncomfortable at any point of time excuse yourself and go call a friend. If need be call the police. Don't be embarrassed, be safe.

Coral: Remember, that there is no guarantee that a person you meet in any capacity is going to live up to your expectations. There is no guarantee of safety in any dating scenario. The best protection anyone can have when dating is common sense.

Ruby: We suggest that you ask the Lord to give you the wisdom to decide what you should do about this relationship: Father God, You said if we lack wisdom, all we need to do ask you. I really need you to pour wisdom into my mind today. Thank you!

Coral: Remember - He will be your strength, and your wisdom. "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." (Psalm 28:7)

Ruby: He will give you direction in the way that you should go "In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths." (Proverbs 3:6)

Coral: And remember we're praying for you.

E-mail this page to a friend