Daddy Drinks

Hi, I'm a 22 year old guy and I'm having a problem at home. My father has a hard time keeping his drinks down. Normally, he is a very nice person, he cares for us and has provided the very best for us and he's even very religious. However he's quite the opposite when under the influence of alcohol. He gets very aggressive and is difficult to control. Some times he has even made a fool of himself in public. I have tried many times to make him see reason. It's all very embarrassing and I get very angry and have become extremely tired of all this. What should I do?

Ruby: First of all, we empathize with your situation. Its not easy living in a situation and circumstance like this. It's easy to blame yourself and think it might be your fault in some kind of way.

Coral: The most important thing to do is to address the root cause of the problem first. Often people may develop a drinking problem, because of reasons such as loneliness, financial problems, health issues or the death of a loved one. At first, having a drink brings relief, but later it can turn into a problem. Alcoholism, also known as "alcohol dependence," is considered to be a disease.

Ruby: People who are not alcoholic sometimes do not understand why an alcoholic can't just "use a little willpower" to stop drinking. Alcoholism has little to do with a lack of willpower. Alcoholics are in the grip of a powerful "craving," or uncontrollable need, for alcohol that overrides their ability to stop drinking. This need can be as strong as the need for food or water.

As your Dad seems to be a nice person, why not talk to him and ask him about why he is drinking in the first place? Let him know how his actions and behaviour makes you feel. But it's impossible to do this when he is drunk, you can't reason with someone when they are inebriated (or at least when they have crossed the threshold!). Although some people are able to recover from alcoholism without help, the majority of alcoholics need assistance. With treatment and support, many individuals are able to stop drinking and rebuild their lives. How about trying Alcoholics Anonymous?

Coral: Since he is a man of faith, talk to Him about the love of God. Perhaps he hasn't forgiven himself or someone else in his life. Since alcoholism is an illness help him realize that he can't handle this on his own but he "can do all things through Christ who strengthens" (Philippians 4:13).

Coral: When your dad is embarrassing you in public, just remember that everyone is accountable for his actions. It's not your fault that your dad is behaving in an embarrassing manner. You have your life and he has his. I know that it is your love for him and your responsible nature to uphold his dignity and integrity that is making you angry.

Ruby: Also, pray to accept this difficult time and to forgive and love your father more. Jesus too was humiliated in public for no fault of his. The Lord took our every shame on himself upon the cross. And don't lose hope! Faith can move mountains and love can conquer all :-).

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