Holy Spirit Interactive Youth: Ask Ruby and Coral

Suicidal!

Ruby and Coral

One of my close friends, who is about 16 years old, just told me that he recently attempted suicide. He told me that he took a bottle of pills and wrote a note. Quite obviously, it didn't work. He tells me that he feels like dying quite often. What should I do? He told me not to tell anyone. But I don't want it to happen again. Help!

Ruby: I'm glad that you are so concerned about your friend and are looking for ways in which to help him. Your friend is truly fortunate he has a caring person like you in his life.

Coral: It's really sad that your friend is suffering so much emotional pain that he wants to end his life. He probably feels that there is no way out. Here's something that the experts suggest you should do when a person close to you appears to be suicidal:

Begin a dialogue by asking questions
Suicidal thoughts are common with depressive illnesses and your willingness to talk about it in a non-judgmental way can be the push a person needs to get help.

Questions to ask:
"Do you know when you would do it (today, next week)?"
"Do you have a plan?"
"Do you have access to what you would use?"

The idea is to get him talking about it. Many a time, the suicidal person is just trying to reach out, to make his/her voice heard. It's a desperate call for help.

Never keep a plan for suicide a secret
Don't worry about endangering a friendship if you truly feel a life is in danger. I suggest that you go to his parents, an elder he trusts, or your school authorities and tell them what is happening. It's worth risking your friendship to get him the help he needs. Also, an adult might be in a better position to gauge the seriousness of his situation and refer him for professional help or counseling.

Don't try to minimize problems or 'talk down'
The last thing a person in such a situation wants to hear is a 'lecture'! Your opinion of a person's situation is irrelevant. Trying to convince a person it's not that bad, or that he has everything to live for will only increase his feelings of guilt and hopelessness. Listen more, don't panic. Talk in a non-judgmental fashion, win his trust and then perhaps your friend will be more willing to receive the help he badly needs.

Avoid over analysis
Any competent Psychiatrist can do all this. The most important thing to do is to get help, and get it fast. It's better to lose a friend than him losing his life, don't you agree? I assure you that your friend will someday thank you for what you are doing for him, but even if he doesn't, the Lord who sees your good work in secret will certainly reward you.

Ruby:

From my personal experience I find the Psalms make beautiful prayers. Take a look at Psalm 139 - telling of God's presence in our life. Pray this Psalm on behalf of your friend. I paraphrase a section of it here for you to read.

Lord, you have examined me and you know me. You know everything I do; from far away you understand all my thoughts. You see me, whether I am working or resting; you know all my actions. Even before I speak, you already know what I will say. You are all around me on every side; you protect me with your power. Your knowledge of me is too deep; it is beyond my understanding.

You created every part of me; you put me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because you are to be feared; all you do is strange and wonderful. I know it with all my heart. When my bones were being formed, carefully put together in my mother's womb, when I was growing there in secret, you knew that I was there-you saw me before I was born. The days allotted to me had all been recorded in your book, before any of them ever began.

Coral: I assure you of our prayers for your friend and for you - that you might have the courage to get through this difficult time. Remember that the Lord is always working behind the scenes.

Do you have a question? Ask Ruby and Coral


	May The Spirit Be With You