Addicted to Porn
by Ruby and Coral
I have been addicted to pornography for several years. I tried to get help, but the person I talked to sounded too preachy and judgmental. I really need advice on how to stop and where to get some real help. I feel like this problem is taking over my life.
Ruby: It's unfortunate that you reached out for help only to receive condemnation. As you seem to know, you can only fight this addiction with the regular prayers, counsel and accountability of others. That can only happen if you take the risk of opening up to another human being. someone, preferably a professional who knows how to handle the problem or can refer you to someone who does
Addictions like this grow in secret and in isolation. Opening up to others who are in a similar situation or people who care for you chase out the shame and the hiding that fuel your addiction. Please don't be disheartened by your failures and let that paralyze you. Take the risk and reach out to someone as soon as possible.
The experts have it that addiction to pornography has 5 different stages of growth.
- Introduction: some one introduces it to you .. media, books, friend etc
- Familiarization: you get curious and come back for more
- Acting Out: now the dangerous part where you want to act out your impulses
- Desensitization: the earlier things that used to excite you no longer does
- Acceleration: Now more and more hard core porn is required to stimulate
I'd urge you to take some time to pray, asking God to point you toward the right person or group of people. Perhaps you have a caring friend who would qualify. If not, you could look to a pastor or Christian counselor. You can find a counselor by asking for a recommendation from an adult you trust. The person you find should be able to point you toward additional resources. Some communities, for example, have a support group for people struggling with an addiction to pornography.
Meditate on the following scriptures daily until you know them like the back of your hand. That will allow the Word take root in your spirit and give you strength to be victorious…
"I say then; Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to the things that you wish. (Galatians 5:17)
"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not of your own?" (1 Cor.6:19)
"Therefore, submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you…" (James 4:7-8)
Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish." (Gal.5:17)
"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Phil 4:13)
"My God shall supply all my need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." (Phil. 4:19)
"And now to you, O Lord, who is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above all we can ask or think according to the power that works in me." (Eph.3:20)
The Holy Spirit will be the most powerful in your life, when you are the most humble -- when you get your own interests and desires out of the way. Then, He can produce in you the fruit He promised: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control --Galatians 5:22-23
Notice that last one -- self-control. It is important to see that self-control is not simply a matter of one's will; it is, in fact, a fruit of the Holy Spirit working in us. What a merciful God we have! As we learn to depend more and more on God to see us through each day, and we become more aware of His presence moment by moment, we find that over time the magnet of sexual sin loses its strength.
In conclusion, please do not feel that you are alone in your suffering. The figures for problems with addiction to pornography worldwide are quite startling, to say the least. We request you to continue to pray to the Holy Spirit to cleanse your heart and mind and renew your spirit to live a chaste and holy life that is acceptable to our Lord.
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© 2004 Coral and Ruby. All rights reserved.
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